Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Megan's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
11:03 pm	Coffee coffee coffee! Wow so I forgot about this journal thing. That's so like me. Lol. Well a lot has happened since I last wrote in here. I just actually wrote the longest entry and it got deleted. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Well anyways, ya so I finally broke up with Ryan. I hate breaking up with people, even when the relationship is sour. I guess I'm just so afraid of getting hurt I just break things off before they can hurt me. I met this awesome guy at Jordan's party around the beginning of September. His name is Trevor and we've been dating for a couple months now. He's a hottie and he likes the same music as me. We drank together and ended up in the hot tub talking about music and life all night. It was great. It really made me realize how many different types of people there are out there, and just because you've been with someone for 2 years, doesnt mean you have to stick it out forever. Especially when the person has nothing in common with you. Ryan just listens to rap and smokes weed all day. I cannot stand it anymore. We had nothing in common anymore. He was suffocating me. He probably treated me better than most guys will but I don't care I can't be with someone I can't talk to. Me and Tammy and Max and getting an apartment soon. They're getting engaged. Max showed me the ring. I really hope it works out for the two of them. They seem to be great for each other. Well damnit my fingers are frozen so I'm gonna get off this damn computer. I'll write more later. I have so much to say. :) Current Mood: restless Current Music: My f*in cd player's broken grrrr! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 27th, 2003
9:29 pm	I am way too tired to write but here's some music. "Crawl" Waking up zeroed in on medicine Am I waking up at all today Seeing lights, feeling pain There's my cure on ice I can walk but I will crawl there I will crawl there Sitting straight, feeling faint An exhausted smile screens my words But I will hear them Here's a phrase that we all know But I can't make sense I don't know words but I will hear them I still hear them Never ran away for the sake of scars Tried not to move but she was armed And shots were fired Now a hole in the head of this wounded liar Never had a drink that I didn't like Got a taste of you, threw up all night I got more sick With every sour second rate kiss Everything I never would miss again I don't know who your boyfriend is Current Mood: thirsty Current Music: alkaline trio (Comment on this)
11:56 am	Pancakes Well here it is Wednesday. I have togo to work later on but right now I'm just chillin. Ryan came over last night. Ahhh I hate love it's so confusing sometimes. I just love him so much but he is able to piss me off so bad so easily. He just comes over last night, brings me dinner, gives me a back rub and then I feel so bad for saying the things I've said and meeting people this past week.No! I am not going to regret things. I just don't know what I want sometimes. When I'm not with him, I meet all these great people and guys and I think why am I limiting myself to just one person and not even experiencing other things? (not other boyfriends just friends or dates)but I just want to live life. He told me last night he wants to get an apt with me and fonzo, I said why don't you guys just look for a place together? he got all weird but I told him I might be going to Spain in january so to not plan his whole life around me. He looked sad and told me I'd still have a place to live if I wanted to move in. He's so sweet. Grrr. Love is confusing. I sooo don't want to go to work today. I don't want to massage anyone I'm so sore from my yoga class yesterday. Oh yes the instructor is mighty fine.well alright enough procrastinating time to get ready for work. I wish I could just go to school everyday and not have to work ever. lol that would be great. Current Mood: confused Current Music: afi (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 24th, 2003
2:26 pm	I am feeling extremely restless today. This weekend sucked. First, my work cut my hours so I didn't work at all this weekend. Then Ryan (my bf) made plans to take me fishing for the first time and then decided to invite all his friends so I ended up not going because what girl wants to be on a boat with their bf and all his friends? Its a completely different dynamic than just a boy and a girl being romantic on a boat. Grrr I hate being ditched. I am getting really annoyed with him about a lot of things. He is so busy with work and stuff he is too tired to see me, and then on his only day off he spends it with his friends. Which is completely understandable, but why have a gf when you don't have time or make time for her? I hate how he can just blow me off and I'm a bitch and just say ok. It pisses me off how he can have control over me like that, me being pissed but too scared to tell him. Like he might realize how lame and codependent I am and dump me. I just cant wait until tuesday. I have class on tues and thurs, I am taking psych 100, algebra, and yoga. My yoga teacher is so hot its not even funny, I swear he;s the hottest guy I've seen in a long time. If it were under different circumstances I definetly would be trying to hit that ha ha! No but school makes me more centered. I feel more like myself when I'm at school. Besides it's nice to see new faces. Well, I'll write later. megs Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: Taking Back Sunday: You're so Last Summer (Comment on this)